Alternating between anger and numbness right now.

I'm trying to tell myself that I'm far too old to react this way to something like this, but they've been such a big part of my life since they did Fever and I feel a bit lost.

Yes it's lovely that they're all happy, and I don't think for a second that it's a decision they made lightly, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. I don't care that Panic is continuing and bringing back the !. It's not Panic. Panic has four members and was started by Ryan and Spencer. No Ryan, no Panic. If they really need to split to be happy, then kill Panic off and have two new bands. Because thinking of a Panic without Ryan (and Jon, although I'm not his biggest fan) makes me feel sick.

Off to cry some more now

So I'm finally doing my gig recap. Basically I am a lazy fuck and I couldn't be arsed before now, but I have the day of work (and I'm not off for another week) so if I don't do it today I never will

( I would do nasty nasty things to you all )